Tech Support Blues, Second Verse

A journal of my three-day exercise in frustration and futility, and how it all came out in the end.

Thursday, 20 August 2009

23:00. Internet working normally. Closed browser but did not power-down computer.

Friday, 21 August 2009

07:00 Opened browser window and received error message.  Restarted computer. Error message. Cleared cache, and all history, cookies, etc. Restarted browser. Error message. Powered down modem; rebooted computer, checked all connections. Unable to connect to internet. Modem ready light blinking. Reset modem; light continued blinking. Tried connecting to different phone outlet, using different filters, etc. Ready light continued blinking. Powered down computer at 07:45. A girl’s gotta work.

10:00 Called customer service number. Got automated help, copied down all instructions for possible fix. Did not speak with rep, as was not home with affected computer at the time.

21:30 Arrived home and followed instructions from automated help. Still no connectivity. Called customer service. Spoke with Rep1 who spent approximately two hours on the phone with me as we ran various possible fixes and diagnostic tests—all obviously dictated by some script that “Jason” in “Texas” was following. Repeated every single cotton-pickin’ thing I did this morning. (So at least I know that I still know what I’m doing?) No connectivity. Switched from Mozilla Firefox to Internet Explorer 8 to determine if browser was issue. No connectivity in either browser. Ready light continually blinking.

At this point, I am absolutely certain that it’s a modem issue. The ready light has been blinking all day. That means there’s a problem with the modem or the incoming lines, not with my computer. Advise Rep1 of my suspicion, only to be patronized and pooh-poohed. What is it about hearing a girl’s voice on the line that makes these techno geeks get all uppity?

“Well, ma’am, let’s just try restarting your computer in safe mode.” Oh, my word, are you kidding me?! It is not a software issue … at least not on my end. The blasted modem is malfunctioning. Fine. Whatever. You won’t listen until I do what you say. So okay. Safe mode. Guess what. It didn’t work. I still can’t connect to the internet.

Mentioned that modem has been in continuous use for nearly eight years. Rep1 advised he would overnight a new modem. I asked him three times if he was sure that the modem would be delivered the next day (Saturday). He stated that it would be delivered sometime in the afternoon. He also advised that he was booking a Monday appointment for a technician to come to my house to check the wiring. He stated that Monday was the earliest appointment he could get for me. I told him that this was not necessary, as the problem is most likely the modem and the wiring is less than two years old, and everything worked admirably until Friday morning. He said that I could cancel the appointment if the new modem solved the problem.

23:30 Ended call with Rep1 with his assurance that I would have a modem by the Saturday afternoon. Rep gave me an order number and stated that the modem would be delivered via UPS on Saturday.

Saturday, 22 August 2009

Waited all day for modem. Severe Facebook and e-mail withdrawal. Worrying about my editing and writing online … every minute down is potential lost revenue.

20:00 Called DSL service to enquire when the modem would be delivered. After approximately 15 minutes, Rep2 was unable to locate shipment tracking number, and gave me local UPS office number, stating that they could track the order using my name and address. No answer at local UPS. Called national UPS, was told that they could do nothing without tracking number—and besides, deliveries were finished for the day.

20:30 Called DSL service again to enquire about modem. Rep3 stated that Rep1 had given me incorrect information—I read that as “he lied”— as equipment orders are processed only during normal business hours, so a modem requested at 23:00 on Friday would not even be pulled until Monday. Asked Rep3 to confirm Monday appointment for technician. Rep3 found no record of any appointment being made.

Explained to Rep3 (as I had to Rep1) that I do business online over this connection, and that it was imperative I get a modem without delay, as I am losing money every minute I am offline. (Okay, slight exaggeration, but I’m getting desperate.) Rep3 scheduled a technician to come to my home between 08:00 and 12:00 on Sunday. Stated that she would advise technician to bring new modem. Ended call at 21:30.

Sunday, 23 August 2009

07:30 Noted that ready light, which has been steadily blinking for at least forty-eight hours, is now solid. Opened browser; no connectivity. Powered down modem and rebooted computer. Still no connectivity. Repeated several of previous diagnostic/repair protocols. Still no connectivity. Waited for technician.

11:45 Called to find out why technician had not arrived or called. At 12:15, was told by Rep4 that technician had been delayed, but would be out today.

12:30 It is now half an hour after my scheduled appointment window. I have cancelled my usual Sunday morning breakfast with friends and skipped church to be available to the technician who has yet to arrive. At this point, I have had no internet service for 60 hours. I have spent more than four hours on the phone with various reps, at least one of whom lied to me about the steps he was taking to resolve the issue. And I have been unable to check e-mail or operate my online business for three days. My state of mind is getting dangerously close to “this pressure-cooker is going to explode and plaster muck all over everything in sight and it will not be pretty.”

13:30 Technician arrives. Very nice man. Talks to me as a peer. Does not act surprised or disbelieving when I tell him what diagnostics I have run. Does not patronize me when I say that I am fairly certain that it’s the modem or a bad line filter. Runs a few checks and decides to re-provision my account. Bingo. I am surfing again. With no issues. Upload a 40 meg file to Facebook, and then upload half a dozen variously-sized photos, just to make sure. Skim through the 191 messages in my e-mail inbox and delete 100 spam messages. Restrain myself from hugging the repairman, but thank him profusely.

And people wonder why I hate tech support and laugh when companies talk about “customer service call centers.” Ditch the centers and hire some real people with brains and non-scripted manners. Please.

Tags: computers, customer service, Family Life, humour, internet, rant, tech support, True Stories