Lesson One: Get Away
I wrote yesterday that I have learned a lot in the past month. My next few posts (I’m trying to stop writing 2000 word posts … it isn’t as easy as it sounds!) will look at some of the lessons life has given me during my vacation and catch-up days.
The first lesson is: Take a real vacation. At least once a year.
I haven’t taken an out-of-town trip in more than 10 years, and I haven’t been to the beach in 25 years. The trip to Florida was my first real vacation in more than a decade. Having finally accrued some leave time, I have taken a few “stay-cations” in the last couple of years. And while the kids and I enjoyed our “stay-cations,” with all the fun things we found to do in town, I still came home every night to all the chores and projects that clamoured for attention. And there was too much availability to the office. Being in town, it was too tempting to check voice-mail and e-mail. So I didn’t really get away.
The last time I actually left home and went somewhere for an extended stay was a few weeks before I filed for divorce, when our family went to Washington State for my then-father-in-law’s funeral. It was a tense time for me, as I had drawn up the divorce papers and then learned that my in-laws were coming to visit. I didn’t want to spoil their vacation, so I asked my lawyer to hold off. Then my in-laws were in a ghastly car accident on their way here, and it was several weeks before all the dust settled. Anyway, I spent that particular trip tending to the mourning family and preparing vast quantities of food. Not really a vacation.
We had taken a previous trip to Washington to visit the family in 1999. We stayed ten days, as I recall, but our marriage was already deeply troubled, and I was too preoccupied with “keeping up appearances” before the in-laws to relax and have fun. I was also terribly sick (which resulted in surgery later that year), and we had appalling difficulties with the airlines on both the outbound and homebound trips. It was not a restful trip.
All of that to say, I can’t really remember the last time I took a real vacation. With actual relaxation and fun involved. Probably when I was about 15 and my family went to the beach. So … about 25 years ago.
I was amazed at the results of taking ten days completely cut off from home and work. Within a couple of days, I felt calm, relaxed, and rested. I felt, to be honest, like I did 25 years ago: free and without a care in the world. Internet service at our hotel was spotty, so it was easier to just not bother checking e-mail … or even Facebook. My cell phones got buried in the bottom of the suitcase and ran out of juice, because I was on the beach so much I forgot to charge them. I spent time walking up and down the beaches, with my kids and alone. Playing. Swimming. Body-surfing. Sifting sand. Sorting seashells. Building sandcastles. Reading. Sleeping.
When I got home, it seemed like my problems weren’t quite so big. I felt able to tackle them. Able to cope a little better, even though there are still some overwhelming challenges in my life.
The lesson: Take time to get away. Leave it all behind and let your body rest. Let your mind lay everything down and recharge itself. Let your spirit reconnect with God by immersing yourself in quiet, peace, and nature — it’s quite true that the very rocks speak of His power and His love. So does the sand and surf. Sunrises and sunsets and double-rainbows that end in the water at your feet are a beautiful reminder of His glory and love.
Vacations have never been a big priority for me. But that has changed. And while I may not be able to take ten days on the beach every year, I think we should be able to manage every two years. One thing is for certain: we will not go another twenty years, or even ten, without some kind of quiet, peaceful getaway trip.