Learning From Pain
This story was originally written in December 2003, but when I slammed my finger in the front door this evening, I was reminded of the previous incident and thought that my newer readers might find my observations interesting.
I’ve had a lot of pain in my life — physical, emotional, mental / psychological, and spiritual — so you’d think I’d pretty much have a handle on what pain is, does, and effects in a person. But yesterday I went through an experience that taught me a lot about physical pain that I didn’t already know.
I was within a block of my church when I remembered a book I had promised to bring someone. As we were unaccountably running very early, I went back home to get it. As I came back out the front door, I pulled the door shut — and slammed the middle finger of my left hand in the door, right on the brass strikeplate of the latch.
My immediate sensation was pain like I have never felt before. Childbirth wasn’t this bad. Everything went white as the excruciating pain shot from my finger to my brain. I was in so much pain I couldn’t make a sound. I bent double, and started to put my finger in my mouth, but it was too hot there and I jerked it back out. When I had gotten my brain and vision back, I locked the front door and we went on to church. I don’t remember much — I was hurting too bad to take it in. Somehow, I made it through the service and all choir anthems. I got us home after the service as quickly as possible. I wanted ice. And lots of it.
Imagine my surprise when I got my ice, and found that it hurt too bad even for that, so I ended up putting a rag in cool water and wrapping that around my now-purple and very swollen finger. I could not do anything all afternoon. Even reading only worked for so long. The pain was just all-intrusive. Finally, I thought of my special bandage setup. Surgitube is a wonderful thing. I dressed my finger and splinted it so I could not bend it. And the compression of the bandage did what no painkiller nor any other remedy could do: it stopped the painful throbbing of my finger and made it possible for me to concentrate on other things. Unfortunately, by the time I discovered it, the time had come to return to church for handbell practise. I would have skipped, but I play middle C, and we have a performance in two weeks. So I cut the finger out of one of my white cotton gloves and went to ring bells. It was actually kind of funny, trying to ring with my finger sticking out in the air. But I made it through.
Anyway. Here’s what I learned about pain.
- Childbirth is not the ultimate in pain and torture.
- If you’re able to yell anything, obscenity or otherwise, you’re not hurt bad enough to bother with. Get on with what you were doing.
- If you can see anything other than blinding white, it wasn’t that bad an injury.
- There is a pain so intense that you cannot take in any other external stimuli.
- The mind is definitely stronger than the body; it is quite possible to tell yourself to ignore the pain and go on.
- The mind can only sublimate pain for so long, and then the body will demand to be heard.
- Sticking an injured body part in the mouth is only helpful when you are bleeding. It makes bruises worse.
- Putting a bad bruise on ice, or even in cool water, is worse than leaving it alone. The cold makes it burn.
- If you wear white gloves, no one will notice a hulking great bandage on your hand.
But I am left with some questions:
- Why is the first response to a sudden pain to bend double? It was my finger I slammed in the door, not my navel, yet I bent double without thought or intention.
- Why is the first impulse on injuring a finger to stick it in the mouth? It’s hot and germy in there.
- Why didn’t everything go black? Isn’t it usual for things to go black when your brain hits overload and shuts down?
- When it hurts to touch that finger, why was a compression bandage the only thing that relieved the pain?
- Ice and cold water are supposed to help numb a bruised area and slow swelling. So why did the ice, the ice-water, and even just cold tap water make it hurt so much more?