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Things I Wonder About
Posted by Editormum on 6 February 2003 in Just Another Single Mother | ∞
- I wonder why my children love Barney but are terrified of clowns.
- I wonder why Blue is a girl dog, and Magenta is a boy dog. Shouldn’t it be the other way around?
- I wonder why my candles never burn down straight like my friend’s do. My pillar candles always burn down into shapes vaguely reminiscent of toasted marshmallows.
- I wonder why 75 feels so cold in the winter and so warm in the summer.
- Speaking of temperatures, I wonder why office buildings are always 32 degrees in summer and 110 in winter. In summer, I have to carry a sweater to work so that I don’t have goosebumps the size of Mt. Everest. In winter, I have to wear sleeveless silk blouses so that I don’t end up with sweat marks the size of Lake Superior under my arms.
- I wonder why my kids can play quietly and harmoniously until I decide to make a phone call — when they decide it’s time to play their trumpets.
- I wonder why my children can sing all the verses of “99 Bottles of Coke on the Wall” without stopping, but they can’t put away a dozen forks without complaining that it takes too long and is boring.
- I wonder why a child who can recite the entire Nexium “purple pill” commercial is completely incapable of remembering the memory verse he is supposed to recite for Sunday School.
- I wonder why kids sleep like rocks from 8:30 to midnight while you vacuum the whole house and dry their overalls in the laundry, but the instant you relax in a hot bubble bath or crawl into bed and begin to drift off to sleep, they wake up screaming from a dream and can’t get back to sleep.
- I wonder why the washing machine never acts the same when the repairman is standing there watching it as it did when I called him.
- I wonder why I can never figure out what the strange grey doo-dad that I found under the couch is part of …. until I have thrown it away.
- I wonder why my car waits until I am out of a job or paying for someone’s broken arm to fall apart and need $800 worth of work.
- I wonder why the guy down at the corner holding a cardboard sign that says “will work for food” doesn’t apply to work at the nearest McDonald’s.
- I wonder why the people down the street who are on welfare and food stamps have a 2003 Cadillac, while I’m driving a 1987 Oldsmobile.
- I wonder why I never get a flat tire until I’m half a mile from my job interview.
- I wonder why my power goes out when I am trying to print out resumes — why not when I’m playing Solitaire?
- I wonder why I never find the missing whatzit from something until ten minutes after the garbage man hauled it off.
- I wonder what I will find to wonder about tomorrow!