Wishing I Had Gone to Work Today

I have stomach flu, so I stayed home today to protect everyone at work from it. I did some laundry this morning, cleaned the kitchen, and worked on some display products for my next homeschool show (June 5). While I did that, I coached the kids through some of their new Reader Rabbit software, which I’m using as a way of reinforcing what we are learning in homeschool. They had a blast, and it was a lovely morning.

After lunch, I tucked the kids in for their nap and turned on a Harry Potter audiobook while I continued folding laundry and working on the display projects. (The one I’m doing right now is a set of paper dolls, and I have to colour them and cut them out. It’s not hard, but it’s time-consuming.) I was in the middle of researching the colours of the stones in the High Priest’s breastplate (specifically, trying to identify what “ligure” might be), when there came a pounding on the front door. I was puzzled, as there was no car in the driveway. So I looked out the front window, and who should be there but the neighbour to the north. I assumed she was coming over to see why I was home instead of at work, so imagine my surprise when my genial “Hi, how are you?” was met with an angry tirade of “Why did you cut down all my bushes?!”

I was at a loss. I couldn’t figure out what on earth she was talking about. I did clean down the hedge line on Sunday, but the only thing I cut out was dead wood — and most of it didn’t need to be cut; it broke off in my hands. And I was careful to weed and rake stuff only on my side of the hedge, though I did spray Weed B Gone over the whole hedgerow to discourage the weeds from their lawn coming into my flowerbed. I checked the label first, and Weed B Gone won’t kill shrubbery or grass, so I figured it was a favour I was doing them. What kind of person would object to someone weeding and raking leaves?

Well, you’d have thought I’d burnt their house down. She was standing out there shouting at me that I should have asked her before I weeded and trimmed the hedge. I said I only took out dead stuff; I didn’t trim anything, and the only green I pulled was weeds in the grass. She kept screaming at me and threatening to come into my yard and wreck my bushes. I said I was sorry, that I hadn’t thought she’d mind me cleaning up the hedge. But she just kept shouting, and I finally gave it up as a bad job and went back in my house and shut and locked the door.

I called my dad and asked him if he knew a surveyor who could come and tell me exactly where the property line is, but Dad talked me out of it. He said it would be a waste of money and wouldn’t convince her of anything. I was bawling my head off, because we go through this with this woman every time I do anything in my yard. I can’t plant anything, edge anything, move anything, or throw out anything without her complaining. I’m just sick of dealing with her. If I could afford it, I would call the fence people and have them out here tomorrow — to install a ten-foot fence from street to back fence.

Dad says this kind of disagreement between neighbours is normal, but I don’t have this problem with the neighbours on the south. When I chopped the hedge down to the ground on that side, they came out and helped. When I was out moving bushes this afternoon (working off a bit of stress), they came out and chatted with me as I dug. When I said something about replacing the hedge with a bank of azaleas next spring, they were ecstatic.

I understand that the woman next door thinks I have it in for her hedges because six years ago my husband asked her husband if they would mind if we replaced the hedge with azaleas and her husband said “great idea” but then came over later and shamefacedly told my husband it was a no go, his wife wanted the privet. Two years later, when we moved a whole lot of privet out of our yard (I was still married at the time), my husband added about six bushes to the empty spots in the hedge, where bushes had previously died out. When he was planting them, she came out raving and having a fit, but her husband, who was helping my husband plant one of the bushes, said something to her in their language and she shut up and went back inside. A year after that, when we moved some azaleas, they asked if we would mind giving them two for their front flowerbed — not only did we give them the bushes, but we planted them in the flowerbed for them. So this woman needs to get a grip.

Anyway, my pleasant, healing morning turned into a stressful, unhealthful afternoon. I may stay home from work again tomorrow, since my stomach is still churning and I still don’t feel well. Right now, I am going to bed. It’s 9:00, and maybe if I get some sleep I’ll feel well enough to go to work tomorrow.

Tags: arguments, challenges, Family Life, illness, neighbours