Clarifying My Position on Educational Choices
I have been on somewhat of a homeschool kick this week, as it’s the beginning of the school year for most kids in this area and people keep asking my kids if they are back in school and where they go. We almost always get a double-take when we say that we home-school.
After reading through the comments on the posts I’ve made this week (and there are more coming, never fear!), I want to clarify a few points.
- Homeschooling is not for everyone. It works for me, and it works for many of my friends and acquaintances. But it does not work for others. I know some people who don’t feel qualified to teach their own kids, especially all the way from pre-school to high school graduation. I know others who feel that no one is better qualified, and still others who figure that they will find someone to fill in the gaps where they know they lack the qualifications.
And a lot of parents are home-educating without realizing it, even as they send their kids off to traditional school every day. When you routinely take the time to expand your child’s knowledge base with trips to museums, zoological gardens, libraries, and other non-school-mandated learning opportunities, you are home-educating. You may not have a plan or a schedule for it, but it’s home education, nonetheless.
I have the utmost respect for a parents’ decision regarding his or her own child’s education. I would never condemn someone because of their decisions regarding their child’s education. Public school, private school, parochial school, Christian school, charter school, home school, unschool — it’s the parent’s decision and responsibility. And I will defend that right and responsibility to the death, no matter your choice. But give me good solid reasons for your choice, not knee-jerk reactions to options that seem unusual to you. (Not that my commenters here have done that, but believe me, I’ve gotten my share in other venues.)
- Not every child needs the same educational approach. Some venues or educational constructs will work better for some children than for others. Why else would we have both resounding successes and crashing failures in every educational system?
While I wish that I had been able to experience home-schooling in my own education, I’m not sure that I was temperamentally suited for it. I used to be a bit of a social butterfly; I’m not terribly self-motivated, and I’m curious only to the extent that something captivates my interest. I’m also profoundly lazy.
While I’m sure my mother could have addressed these shortcomings admirably, I’m not sure our relationship would have survived intact. I could have been the poster child for Dr. James Dobson’s The Strong-Willed Child. And I think it was probably good for my mother’s sanity that I was in school much of the day. But when I look over the skills and abilities and advantages that my brothers gained (both were homeschooled), I admit that I am a little envious. And I wonder just how much farther I might have gone had I been educated at home.
- I am not anti-public schools. I think that there are some grave issues with many aspects of public schooling, but I do think that public schools fulfill a very real, very important need in our society. I am concerned, however, that in trying to meet the needs of a diverse and often unprepared student body, the public schools may sometimes lose their mission of teaching academic basics.
- I am not against professional teachers. While I had some appallingly bad, cruel, and ignorant teachers in my school years, I also had some profoundly good, caring, and intelligent teachers. I think teachers have a very difficult job to do, and I think that they are often not paid nearly what they are worth.
I do think that the teaching profession, like the medical profession, needs to do more to get rid of the bad apples in the barrel. But I also realize just how fraught with difficulty that suggestion is.
- I agree with the commenters who say that parents should raise their kids, read to them, be involved with them. A lot of the problems that teachers have to deal with in the classroom could be solved if kids came to school properly fed, well-rested, and prepared to learn — and with a basic understanding of manners and decency. That requires a lot of parents: fostering an education-oriented home life; setting limits on television, videos, and video games; and spending time in educational pursuits with their kids, for starters.
And really, that last point is what home-schooling is all about — at least for me. Home-schooling means providing my kids with opportunities to learn, to pursue their passions, to grow together with me. Home-schooling works beautifully when the parent is right there learning with the child. Oh, not necessarily the same lessons (although I have enjoyed filling in the gaps in my own education), but being a student of your child: learning his motivations and struggles, exploring his interests, gaining insight into how his mind works. Teaching your child the fundamentals of civilized living. Sharing the character qualities and the values that make your family unique. Passing on traditions along with academics.
So while home-schooling is definitely the best choice for me and my children, please don’t think, if you have chosen otherwise, that I think any less of you. And most of the homeschoolers I know would tell you the same. We may be passionate in defending what we have chosen with our own kids, and we may bore you to death describing our approach to and our philosophy of education, but we respect your right to choose what is best for your kids.