Phasing Back Into Food
Well, I made my decision this morning. I’m going to phase out of the cleanse/fast starting this afternoon. I’m kind of disappointed, but it’s becoming stressful to stay on the fast, and that will negate much of the good that I have achieved. There’s no point in continuing if I’m going to be miserable for the next two weeks. And, if I go on, I will probably never want to do this again. I’d rather quit now, when I can consider a 10-day cleanse and say that I would be willing to do it again.
I’m going to stick with clear soups, brown rice, and vegetables for a while … probably for at least the two weeks that I would have been on the fast. Then I will gradually add meat and cheese back into my diet after Easter.
One thing that I realised on the fast, especially during the week that the kids were gone, is that I put on weight when I am stressed — even when I am not eating more. I guess my body just stores stress as fat. So I’m going to have to work very hard to keep a reasonable schedule and eliminate as much self-induced stress as possible. Obviously stress is part of life, and I’m not going to avoid all of it. But I can make myself say “no” to things that will create more stress for me. I can learn to say “no” to myself, too, when spending money or participating in something would cause negative repercussions on the budget. I’ve had a lot of trouble making myself be disciplined since the divorce — I am going to have to be tough.
One thing the fast has taught me is that I am tough. And I can be tough when I want to be. It’s time to apply that toughness to other areas of my life. It would be very easy to go back to my oblivious lifestyle. I’ve got to stay mindful of everything I eat, do, and agree to.
So what is my goal? I recently read that whatever weight you were in your 20s (assuming that you were neither grossly over- or under-weight) is the weight that you should try to maintain throughout your life. Well, I weighed 115 from the age of 16 to the age of 28 — regardless of how much I ate or didn’t eat, how much I did or didn’t exercise. Seems to me, that’s the weight to shoot for. According to my friend’s Weight Watchers chart, the target they would recommend for me would be 123. So anywhere between 115 and 130 will be fine. I can be happy with that. At this point, I weigh 182, so I still need to lose 50 to 70 pounds. It’s achievable, if I keep to the plan.