The “Proverbs 31 Woman” in Modern American Society
Does this woman exist? This paragon of wisdom, diligence, trustworthiness, and productivity. Perhaps she existed in Bible times, but does she, can she, exist in 21st Century America?
Yes. If you understand the basic lessons of the passage and adapt it to modern-day life, then you can be a “Proverbs 31 Woman” with ease—not with ulcers and stress.
First, who is this woman? She is described in Proverbs 31, verses 10–31.
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
The virtuous woman, if one can be found, is more valuable than precious gems. The implication is that a man considering a wife ought to be willing to sacrifice everything to gain the love, respect, and marriage contract of a woman like this. Her husband can trust her judgement, knowing that she will not allow waste or pilfering to diminish his wealth. She will also not allow petty gossip and tale-bearing to damage his reputation. She makes certain that her actions, attitudes, and decisions reflect well on him, and she will do all that is in her power to present him before the world in his very best light.
She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
This woman is neither afraid of nor ashamed of working hard, and she doesn’t think that she is too good to soil her hands. She seeks out the very best in both quality and price, even if it means importing some items. She is not lazy; she works hard and provides for her entire household, even the servants.
She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
She is a wise consumer. She makes sure that she is getting a good deal, and then she utilizes her real estate to provide for her family. She works hard and does not shun difficult or tedious work.
She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
She is generous and kind to those who are not as blessed as she is, yet she does not make her family suffer so that she may be benevolent to strangers. Even as she helps the improvident, she ensures that her family is well-clothed and has the best and most durable of materials.
Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
Besides providing for her family and for the indigent, she has her own business income, making high-quality luxury goods, which she sells in the marketplace. Her husband benefits from her intelligence and entrepreneurial spirit—he is a prominent citizen whose position is enhanced by his wife’s abilities.
Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
This woman is attributed with amazing character. No weak little pampered princess, this woman is not only physically strong, but also mentally and emotionally strong. She is wise and kind to all. She is diligent, not lazy and intent on living an indolent lifestyle.
Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
Both her children and her husband recognize her value as a wise and strong woman who loves God, honors her husband, and cares for her family. She does not rely on fame or beauty, but on her kindness and piety to recommend her … and her works show her value and bring her commendation from all in her community.
—
Now, can this ideal be achieved by the modern American woman, who has so many pressures and different responsibilities? Certainly. But let’s look reasonably at what this woman had available to her, so that we can see where today’s woman (and her family) may need to adjust her expectations of herself.
The first thing that pops out is the reference to “maidservants.” The maidservants under the woman’s direction would have been responsible for the cleaning, cooking, sewing, and other day-to-day chores. The average woman in today’s society does not have a home full of servants. She has to cook, clean, provide clothing, and do the day-to-day chores for herself. Some of these things are no longer necessary. Ready-made clothing means that most women need not worry about making time to sew for their families, other than the odd button or tear that needs mending. Today’s butchering and grocery standards mean that women need not pluck their own chickens or pick their own produce from the garden for every meal. Our airtight, well-constructed homes mean that there is less cleaning required, as there is less dust drifting into the home.
Thus, the modern woman has both more and less required of her in the areas of home management. While she does not have the large staff that the “Proverbs 31 Woman” clearly had at her disposal, many of the onerous tasks that her servants would have done for her have been reduced or eliminated by modern conveniences. Nevertheless, today’s woman should bear in mind that cooking, cleaning, and the like will still require her time and attention. She may need to adjust her expectations of the perfection that is achievable when it is one person, rather than ten, maintaining a home.
Another thing that draws the attention is the mention of this woman’s business acumen. Too many “traditional” teachers gloss over this very important point: the Proverbs 31 Woman was involved in business and, indeed, had her own profitable lines of commerce. (She is involved in real estate, agriculture, and textile production.) The text makes it clear that this woman was business-savvy and was a respected, successful entrepreneur.
A third, and very important point, is that she had the support and encouragement of both her husband and her children. And while she probably had a large family, remember that she had servants to assist in their care and training. Without those servants, the modern woman must adjust her expectations to a reasonable level.
The text says that the Proverbs 31 Woman “pays careful attention to the ways of her household.” And this is the key to adapting the ancient text to the modern life. Pay careful attention to what your household is involved in. If you do not have a houseful of nannies, cooks, maids, and other employees to help you, then consider carefully the activities of your family and make sure that you are not over-extending.