Delighting in Their Company

My sons are delightful people. Especially now, as they begin to grow out of childhood and into manhood. It is a joy and a privilege to watch them on their journey to adulthood. It is a terrifying responsibility to guide them on that road.

My older son is in the wavering phase, teetering between childhood pursuits and adult interests. It’s sometimes hard to keep up with the rapid changes between needy child and independent adolescent. Especially since those changes can happen faster than an eye-blink.

My younger son is in the “almost” phase. He is almost, but not quite a teen. So he frequently exasperates his older brother, who expects him to act more maturely. And he is still more of a child than anything else.

My older son is beginning to have real manners. Not “mom just reminded me so I’d better do this” manners, but spontaneous politeness. Please and thank you without prompting. Opening doors for me. Carrying heavy stuff for me. Cutting his food into decent-sized bites instead is dislocating his jaw to engulf his food. Eating things besides chicken nuggets and hot dogs. And complimenting the cook.

And with his newfound maturity is coming another puzzling contradiction. Communication. Some days, he talks to me and confides in me and shares with me … and some days he hermetically seals himself and won’t talk for love or money.

When he converses, it’s delightful. (Unless we are dealing with issues of him being bullied or his anger toward his father. Then it’s good to talk, but I wouldn’t call it fun.) He’s got a wide range of interests … mostly in the local fauna and in outdoor pursuits, but also in people and places.

My younger son talks a lot more than his brother, but his conversation generally tends to be about Pokemon, Digimon, and Bakugan. But when you can get the kid to talk about movies, books, or something besides video games, he’s also profoundly interesting.

Kids have a unique insight—sometimes a profound and penetrating insight—into the world around them. You want someone to home in on the central issue and ignore any peripheral issues, mitigating circumstances, or distractions? Ask a kid. You want someone who isn’t afraid to ask the embarrassing or scary questions that most of us keep buried because WE don’t want to be the one to ask? Get a kid. Seriously.

We’re walking out of Wal*Mart one day and are nearly run down by two men who are not exactly running, but who are definitely moving quickly. We step aside and stand still for a minute, watching as the men stop a woman who was leaving just ahead of us, and show her two empty hangers. She opens her enormous handbag, and then the men escort her through a door I’d never noticed before, and the kids and I look at each other in disbelief. And my youngest says, “What was THAT all about?” My oldest retorts, “Duh, she was stealing stuff in that giant bag of hers!” And the youngest says, “Oh, so that’s why they nearly ran over us. You’d think they could arrest someone without hurting innocent bystanders.” I nearly broke a rib stifling my laughter. The brutal honesty of kids can be overwhelming.

Tags: boys, child-rearing, children, Family Life, parenting, True Stories