Discouraged

Mom’s doing better and getting around well, but I’m kind of down. Part of it is that the kids are away. Their boundless energy is a tonic, in many ways, keeping me “up when I’m down.” They are with their Dad for the next week, and I miss them. And part of it is sleep deprivation. I’ve been staying up late working on various projects, and I just don’t do well on less than eight hours. It’s really rather stupid of me to try to manage on five to six hours, but old habits die hard, and I used to pull all-nighters with ease. I have to keep reminding myself that I am not in my twenties any more. Sigh.

I’m also tired of the whole “house” thing. I just want it to be DONE. But there are all these little loose ends to tie up — ends that seemed a good idea for us to do at first, since I was on such a tight budget and could save a bundle by doing these things myself. But now, frankly, I’m sick of the whole thing. I wish I could wave my magic wand and make everything take its appointed place in the house, move in, and sit back to enjoy.

And I have outside things I’m behind on as well. I’m teaching a seminar on newsletter design at the end of the month, and I haven’t even begun to put the presentation together yet. I know WHAT I want to say, but gathering visuals and creating the Powerpoint is not happening. I need to get a newsletter out this week, and that’s stalled.

Most of all of my behind-ness is due to having had to cover two jobs at the office for two months. And the new girl is just that — “new.” I’m still doing a lot of extra work in training her. Not that I mind, as she is bright and willing and seems able to do the work. But it means that back-burner, secondary tasks are having to stay on the back burner. And I want them done!

Sigh. Oh well. This, too, shall pass, and I will be stronger for it. What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger, and I’m definitely not getting killed. Overwhelmed and frustrated, yes. Killed, no.