First Sunday Musings
Today is the first Sunday of February, so we had Communion at church. It was unusual, almost difficult, for me, as it was my almost-six-year-old’s first. He asked Jesus into his heart a couple of weeks ago, and I told him he could take Communion with me today. I was very happy for him, of course, but shepherding a young child through the Eucharistic Liturgy tends to diminish one’s own ability to concentrate on the sacrament.
I usually tend to lose myself in the liturgy, making Communion a very intimate moment with God. I pray a lot, think a lot about God’s sacrifice for me, and usually leave feeling like I’ve spent an hour in Heaven. I love that peaceful, rested, clean feeling that I usually end with…the confrontation of my own sin and the free forgiveness flowing from the Table are the most wonderful catharsis experiences I have ever undergone. But today was immensely different.
My son was very interested in the whole thing, but he has not yet learned to sit still. And, of course, he has a million questions … two of them memorable because they were both funny and thought-provoking.
When the ministers said the “this is my blood” bit and then drank their cups, my son tugged on my sleeve and said, “Why did they drink that blood?” Now how do you explain that in a whispered conversation while trying to follow the liturgy? And yet, isn’t this very thing the crux of the ritual? If I remember correctly, Jesus lost a lot of followers to the idea of “you must drink my blood” because they didn’t understand. So I will have to address this question today, so that my son will understand what it really means.
When we stood up from the altar (we kneel at the front of the church to receive), my son looked up and said in that penetrating whisper that children have, “I’m still hungry. Can I have some more?” It was all I could do not to laugh, but, like a good mom, I swallowed my grin and my laughter and tried to explain simply for him. But it got me thinking.
Again, isn’t this an important concept? God’s love and forgiveness are there, and the more we hunger and thirst for them, the more God will give us. And all we have to do is ask Him for them.
Thinking back, I wonder if I should have waited to let him participate. After all, he’s so young and new to all of this that it can’t possibly mean the same thing to him that it does to me. But does that really matter? Isn’t it just as important to get him involved in his faith, and won’t the need for this “ceremony” grow the more he is exposed to it?
From a self-centered point of view, it was a disappointing first Sunday for me. I was not able to lose myself in the liturgy, or to approach God’s presence as close as I usually do. Or is that just a feeling? (Feelings do lie.) Maybe I was even closer than usual, as I was forced to really think about what we were doing. Maybe I was really closer to God than usual, focused as I was on a child and on helping him to understand what it was all about.
Maybe that clean, refreshed, exalted feeling I usually have is really not so desirable after all. After this morning, I am concerned that maybe that feeling means I have been focused on myself too much. So maybe I shouldn’t be disappointed. Maybe God was using my child to point out some self-centeredness that I didn’t realize I had. Maybe He was using my son to help me grow into a better, more mature person. Which all comes back to the whole point of Communion, doesn’t it?
1 Comment
Your son’s comments on Communion are precious. Our children often annoy us when they distract us from our involvement with other people and other things. Yet they often remind us of the things we have forgotten. His comment on bread reminds me of Paul criticising the Corinthians for eating all the food at communion. They were told to save some for others.